Dinner With Freddy Joe Jr.

“ Why hello Freddy Joe Jr.. Come inside.” said Billy Bob, “ Come and wait on the couch while I make dinner.”

“Why thank you.” said Freddy Joe.

“Do I put in glass shards in his pasta,” wondered Billy, “or do I poison the rim of his cup? Or maybe I put should lead into his drink. Oh, the possibilities. I think I will poison Freddy Joe’s cup with a poison for a slow, painful death in the ER. I think I will add some lead, too.”
“Now, lets see. . .pour ten cups of hot water in the bowl. Let it get to a rapid boil. Then put in the spaghetti noodles. After the spaghetti noodles are soft, add the flavoring packets.” read Billy.       

“ Well that’s retarded!  What about the lead and poison?! Oh I know, I will add them later so I don’t get it as well. Oh look the water is boiling now.” said Billy Bob loudly.

“WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE?!” Freddy Joe yelled. “It smells terrible in here! Is that some snails on the cutting board!?! What are they doing there!?!”

“I was going to chop them up and put them in a salad. It is a new recipe I wanted to try. I picked the cone snails out of the ocean today. They’re still fresh, if slightly dry.” answered Billy Bob. “Now go sit down. I have work to do in the kitchen. Shoo. Now where was I?  Ooh yes.  I was rubbing poison onto his glass and putting the noodles in the boiling water.”

“Come to the table Freddy Joe! The dinner is ready, and it only took me one point five hours to make it, not including gathering the snails.” Called Billy Bob.
“Not to mention that cone snails are extremely poisonous.” Billy Bob thought to himself.

“I’m coming!” answered Freddy Joe.

“Now dig in and eat.” said Billy Bob.

“The salad does not taste to good.” said Freddy Joe. “The noodles taste a lot like lead paint, and I smell rat poison on my glass.”

“Okay,I will throw the salad out.”replied Billy Bob.

“I Don’t feel to well. I need to go home now before I throw up.” said Freddy Joe.

“Maybe you are just hungry and need to eat more?” said Billy Bob.

“No, I really need to go home. NOW!” replied Freddy Joe.

“Okay. I wish you could stay longer, but if you need to go home then go.” said Billy Bob. “I will go get your car ready.”

“Good bye.” called Billy Bob as Freddy Joe drove away.

“Now how do I get rid of the things?” pondered Billy Bob, “I know I will burn them.”

“These fumes are highly intoxicating. I feel high. Now I am dizzy.” thought Billy Bob as he died from inhaling particles of lead.